* Eight *

When Harper turned eight (which seems like just last year!) I remember it hitting me hard, for some reason eight years old just seems so...old. Maybe because that is the point in my own life where I can remember large chunks of time and very detailed memories instead of vague or scattered ones. It is hard for me to believe that it has been 8 years since we met and said goodbye to Jack. Loss is such a strange marker of time, for some days the sadness you experience makes it seem like it has only been a brief time, yet time and life continued on and so here we are EIGHT years later. In my experience the sting of the pain of loss lessens with time but the sadness of what could have been still lingers. And this is normal. Jack was greatly loved and so he is greatly missed. This year I've been even more aware that we all struggle, our struggles all just look different and some (like losing Jack) might be more public but WE ALL STRUGGLE. And if you think you are the only one and you are reading this feeling alone or ashamed please know that in this day of constant highlight reels on social media you are not alone. Behind ALL of those smiling faces are hurt. 

Gee Meredith, what a way to lift us all up, right?

Well, I do in fact have a reason for pointing out the great shared human condition of suffering. Which I promise I will get to. In past blog posts remembering Jack and his life I have talked about the many ways in which God provided for us during that time through friends, prayers, peace unimaginable...and if you haven't ever read those you are welcome to go back to April of 2014 and read them all. This year, however, I feel a sense of urgency to tell you about God himself and to implore you to examine Him more closely if you do not have a relationship with Him, or even if you do and life or people or the church have turned you away. Why do I have this sense of urgency this year? I think in part because over the past couple of years I have lost friends and family well before their time on this earth should have been up (or at least what our ideas of lifespan should be). 

Death will make you have a sense of urgency about life. 

I don't want you to follow Jesus because I think He has a heavenly excel spreadsheet and I want more tally marks in my column, this isn't social media, the more "followers" I get doesn't equal a better place in heaven for me. And to be honest I don't want you to follow Jesus because I don't want to be without you when I go to heaven (although I do want you to be there!). I want you to examine a relationship with Jesus more closely because life with Him is so much sweeter and better and though the pain and suffering will still come He walks with you through it. And mostly I want you to follow Jesus because I truly believe He is worthy of our praise. He doesn't NEED it. But He delights in it. He was willing to take our shame and our suffering through death on the cross because he loved us in the most pure example of love you can ever encounter. He was not afraid of what anyone would think, He was not ashamed of us- He was not ashamed of me or you. He. Loves. You. I know that there may have been things in your life that have caused you to question that. But while life spent worshipping God is never promised to be easy I promise that He does love you. Even if you have rejected Him. Even if you don't believe in Him. You are still dearly loved. And you are worthy of that love BECAUSE of what has already happened, because Jesus unashamedly went to the cross and was raised from dead to life. 

But, as LeVar Burton used to say on Reading Rainbow, "You don't have to take my word for it". I want YOU to examine who Jesus truly is. I want you to learn for yourself about this love that is unlike any other. I want you to experience it for yourself. One resource I would recommend is Lee Strobel's book The Case for Christ. I have a copy you can borrow or you can always check out Amazon. Today, as we remember Jack, I want you know how much we love him. Even though he was here on this earth for a short time he is still so loved. And if we, in our sinful hearts, can love our son who we knew only briefly, this much, image how much our heavenly Father loves YOU to send His son to die for you. In this life of darkness and suffering my prayer is that you can find the light and hope of Jesus. 

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light;

those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone."

-Isaiah 9:2

As always, for Jack's birthday, we want to encourage you to give back as a way to celebrate Jack's life. 

Each year our family purchases swimsuits and towels to donate to the Big House Foundation's Swimsuit and Towel drive. These go to children in foster care and the towels are monogramed, which is a big deal as many children in foster care do not have much that is their very own! More information on that here.

An organization that we haven't mentioned before but have known for many many years is MDI (Missions Developmental International). This group mentors and equips ministry leaders around the world. Specifically- they have a number of ministry partners in Ukraine and have a link for specific giving to bring emergency resources, care, and support to children, women, the elderly, men, and families traumatized by the devastating war in Ukraine here.