Ten Years

 When I think about how much life has happened in the past ten years, from losing loved ones, walking with friends through hard medical diagnoses or difficult relationships, a global pandemic, new life (including Hendrix being born!), new jobs, new successes and failures- it makes the reality of 10 years without Jack seem more real. But when so much has changed God never changes .("I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed." Malachi 3:6). 

I chose this picture because we all have joy in it. Harper is delighting in showing her baby brother the toy she has. It is as normal a picture for the birth of a child as ever there could be. One might not guess that we three all knew we wouldn't get to bring Jack home. How did we have joy in that moment? How could we have made it ten years walking this road of pain? Douglas McKelvey in Every Moment Holy (Volume II) describes it this way "So we will weep for what was lost, and we will weep for what will never be, as the seasons wheel and wheel and wheel, and we grow slowly older in our grieving." We have pressed forward and continued on only because of God. 

"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." Isaiah 46:4 

Even as the seasons 'wheel and wheel and wheel' God fights for us (me, you, all of us) when we can barely even fight for ourselves. He is always with us and he comforts us. He is steady and unchanging. 

So what if you are in a hard hard place today and you don't necessarily feel held by God or that you can even trust that His plan is "perfect" because your circumstances are not what anyone would describe as perfect or good? What if you feel wounded and uncertain and untrusting? Feeling all of this is normal. Jesus felt all of this and more as he wept on the cross and suffered for all of us. So when you are in a hard place know that Jesus felt it and he suffered too. He understands. So until you feel like you are in a place where you can accept God's lordship, his "perfect plan", you can know you in solidarity with Christ in your suffering and hardship. 

As I've said in the past, we have been able to see the glimpses of God's plan and the good that has come from our suffering. And so as more time passes we see more of God's plan for Jack's life unfold. And that takes away some of the wounding and the mistrust. We were (and still are!) also fortunate to have had people come along side of us in prayer and fellowship and speak truth to us and also let us feel what we needed to feel. If you are feeling alone in your grief or suffering please don't hesitate to reach out to me or someone else in your life. Having people coming alongside you in these hard moments is such a blessing. We were created to walk through life together!

And as always, if you should feel led to give in memory of Jack's life that is one way we honor him each year. 

Donate to Big House

Our mission is to connect the needs of foster families with the generosity of the community through the love of Jesus Christ. We aim to impact the lives of children in foster care in a positive way through meeting their needs and serving their foster families. We are passionate about advocating for these families and educating the community on the needs of children in the foster care system. 

Donate to the Food Bank

The mission of the Food Bank of East Alabama is to nourish lives through a strong and equitable hunger relief network while multiplying the generosity of a caring community.

Our vision is inspiring and engaging our community to end hunger.

And one more note to anyone still reading. Ten years feels like a good time to officially sign off on yearly posts. Should I feel led to continue I will certainly do so but have no expectation as to frequency, etc. Please know if you are reading this you are loved and valued and have worth no matter your circumstances!