"There is no word, no label, no identifying moniker,
I am not a widow, not an orphan, not childess,
But one child less.
One less open laugh and little boy giggle,
One less challenging tete-a-tete;
One less artful, winking manipulation,
One less word of comfort, one less grateful hug.
One less chance to embrace a daughter;
One less new life to carry your eye,
your chin, your grin, your name,
No one word for the pain, the longing, the brevity
Of a life meant for living;
an old soul meant to grow older than mine;
Would there be any one price too high,
an sacrifice too great,
For one more moment,
one more breath,
one more warm touch;
I grasp desperately and sense the closeness-
the ONE just at the fingertips of my hear and mind,
There is not 'One'-
you are gone and I am -less."
-Cheryl Mcdonald
Teeny little baby feet!
Two years. Two years since I met my oldest son and since I said goodbye to him. I feel so unprepared for his birthday this year. Though I've thought of it often. But this year I felt more like I wanted just remember and celebrate Jack with our family, whereas last year I desired to be surrounded by friends and family. So I guess just not having big, definite plans to mark your day this year is strange and makes me feel unprepared. I am sure each year the way we celebrate and mark your day will change.
Jack,
Daddy, Harper, and I think and talk of you often. We've decided it is a tradition to donate a swimsuit and towel for a child in foster care since a local agency (Big House) has their drive around your birthday each year. Harper chose a Spiderman bathing suit and towel in a 2T since she thinks your favorite super hero would be Spiderman. Hers is Captain America. We are guessing your baby brother's favorite superhero will be Hulk since he "hulks" everything in the house.
Speaking of your brother, it is strange to think that I am the mom of TWO boys now. Last year I could only hope that was the case. You have both proved to be so different from your big sister. But I cherish each of my children and the way you are all unique. Jack, you have the advantage of never having to see the wrath of mommy!
Life is so different now than it was before we knew you, as is true with the arrival of all children I suppose. But you have made us better people. Though our family will never truly feel whole with you missing, your absence makes us cherish each other even more. When I look at Harper and Hendrix my heart wants to burst at how much they love each other. Harper is SO patient and SO kind and SO loving towards him, even though he is a wild, active baby who loves pulling hair and sneaking into her room. And while I know eventually they will squabble I truly believe that she loves him so well because of you. She prays for you often and likes to guess at what fun you are having in Heaven.
God has also used you to strength my faith in Him. Before I got pregnant with you I always wondered if I had the faith that could withstand such a storm. But God drew me nearer to him through our trials with you. Lately I have been thinking about "life verses" and trying to find one. Although I don't have one yet, I do have several that I think accurately sum up parts of my life. One I've clung to lately is Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Although belief in God does not exempt you from the horrors of the world, God doesn't fail you or leave you alone in those times. And I learned that through being your mom, Jack!
We long for the day that we can be with you again. I can't wait to see you healed and whole and made new! And although celebrating your birthday will always be hard, I am so thankful for the hope that I have that we WILL see you again.
Happy 2nd Birthday!
I LOVE YOU!
Mommy
As always, we believe that the purpose of Jack's life did not end with his life. He has made such an impact in his brief existence on this earth and we know he will continue to do so. We have some favorite organizations that help children in our area and we'd love for you to at least know more about them and if you feel led, donate to these organizations!
Junior League of Lee County
http://www.juniorleagueofleecounty.com/donate
Backpack program-
As always, we believe that the purpose of Jack's life did not end with his life. He has made such an impact in his brief existence on this earth and we know he will continue to do so. We have some favorite organizations that help children in our area and we'd love for you to at least know more about them and if you feel led, donate to these organizations!
Junior League of Lee County
http://www.juniorleagueofleecounty.com/donate
Backpack program-
2% of Lee County's Children are in the Free or Reduced Lunch Program*
20% are struggling with chronic hunger**
The Junior League of Lee County is making a difference in the county by the Weekend Backpack Program in Partnership with the Food Bank of East Alabama.
In the past 2012-2013 school year, the League has packed and delivered 800 bags of food. This is program has served 80 children in Lee County Elementary and Middle Schools.
The Goal is to serve the chronically hungry children in Lee County Schools who would go hungry over the weekend.
Alabama Rural Ministry
Sunshine Day Camps-
Teams working with the day camp work with the ARM day camp staff to plan Bible studies, songs, recreation activities and much more! Day camps are run similarly to Vacation Bible Schools and other day camp programs. Our volunteers are able to enhance the children’s experiences through interaction, whether it be fellowship, playing games, going on field trips, or presenting Bible stories and devotions. The children of the Sonshine Day Camp are truly remarkable in their ability to show love to so many volunteers that come in and out of their lives each summer.
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
Mission
To introduce remembrance photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby with a free gift of professional portraiture.
Our Work
NILMDTS trains, educates, and mobilizes professional quality photographers to provide beautiful heirloom portraits to families facing the untimely death of an infant. We believe these images serve as an important step in the family's healing process by honoring the child's legacy.
