Thoughts on our long awaited arrival!

Don't worry- no one is here yet! I have just been asked about a million times "are you ready". Maybe now I'll direct them to our poor neglected blog. My answer? Honestly? No. Of course not. I think Jason would say the same thing. We have been blessed with amazing friends and family who have given us many of the things we need for our sweet girl, we have taken childbirth/parenting classes that have mentally prepared (and possibly scarred) us for what to expect prior/during/after her arrival, and we have been praying that we are spiritually ready. BUT (isn't there always a but?) we have no hospital bags packed, no place for her her to sleep when she first comes home (not put together anyway), not enough diapers, and no car seat installed. Don't panic. It will get done. But even if we had been ready for months, my answer to the "are you ready?" question would still be no. How would I even begin to fathom if I am ready or not? And somehow, I am okay with that. Which might be the bigger lesson. Me, who is so planned, so future thinking, so OCD about deadlines (yes, I was the student that had her papers written prior to the night before) is okay with not being ready. I am already learning that God uses parenthood to teach you to lean on HIM. I have a feeling that many, many times over the next (fill in the #) years Jason and I will be at a total loss and have nothing but God to cling to. In fact, I know it. He promises it. And its okay. For too long I have clung to myself and my plans and my plans have not always happened, but you know what did happen? God's plans for my life, the plans he's had forever for me, have always happened. And my life has been so much more blessed (not in a "I'm rich and successful" way, but in a 'I now know my God more deeply and can praise Him through storms and celebrations' way). My prayer for anyone reading this is that sometime in your life when (not if) you are left with nothing but the Lord to cling to that you will do just that, cling to him. Let him fill you to the measure until you are overflowing. He'd love to do that. He longs to do that.