Harper's First Christmas!

:-) "Child of wonder, close your eyes, rest here in my arms tonight. Some day you will save the world, but tonight I'll hold you right here in my arms. Precious miracle of life, child of love. The gift of hope, the gift of light, from the Father above. And you were made, for all mankind, and you will always be mine. Child of love."
I think about this song a lot now. This Christmas season I have thought (more than ever before) about how Mary must have felt and how she dealt with not just being a mother, but being Jesus' mother. Talk about pressure. This song really illustrates in a such a beautiful way how she could have been feeling. I feel like this song illustrates how I feel about Harper. Our first Christmas with Harper was wonderful, all that I could have imagined and more. Not perfect, but it was truly special. I sang this song to her several times throughout the night on Christmas Eve and in the wee hours of Christmas morning. As Jason put it "She was too excited for Santa to sleep". Even teeny newborn Harper slept better than that night. We all survived, a little worse the wear for sleep, and had a lovely Christmas day with Jason's family. The day was cloudy and rainy on and off and it was just beautiful. Typically a rainy day is not beautiful but Jason's folks live on a lake and it was so pretty to see the gray skies against the water. Harper was very interested in all the shiny presents and the rustling paper. She even helped open presents (see pictures). We had a very merry Christmas day, I hope everyone in blog land did too!
PS- We Martins are real...these pictures show our real life. No makeup, snotty noses, fussy models, etc. But this is OUR life and we wouldn't trade it!

Helpless

Suffice it to say...I have felt very helpless as a mother over the past week. I knew Harper would get sick eventually, and most likely from daycare, but I didn't think it would happen so quickly! She got RSV and started feeling pretty crummy about this time last week. It literally broke my heart every time she would cough or sneeze. To see someone, especially your own child, so small and so unable to help themselves- even to the point of not being able to blow their nose- was horrible. Some days we were both crying because it hurt me so bad not to be able to wave my magic mommy wand and make her better (oh, did they forget to give you one of those, too?). I am very thankful for a wonderful support I have in my husband, mom, mother in law, doctor, and her daycare, all of whom helped ease her discomfort and eased my anxiety. I am most thankful to God who gave me HIS promise through his word that he would always be here and never leave me. I am very thankful that all we had to deal with is RSV. While it was scary and heartbreaking, I will never take the lack of severity of it for granted. She is well now and I am thanking God that my sweet, precious, tiny baby is well! What a test of my faith, though...leaving me with lots of questions that I am too superstitious to ask in this blog.

Born to Die by Bebo Norman

Andrew Peterson - Dancing In The Mine Fields

Child of Love

BOTH favorites...

If you know me well enough, you know this is a Brian Regan reference. However, there are more than 'two favorites' so, you will have to forgive the inaccuracy of my reference. These are some of my favorite songs of late, 2 of them Christmas, one of them not. Enjoy!

PS- Couldn't get them in THIS post...so they will follow.
PPS- Had trouble finding 'Child of Love'. Originally done by Sara Groves for 'City on a Hill' Christmas CD. Love it. My favorite Christmas song ever. Especially now that I am a mom. Hard to imagine Mary's emotions and thoughts this time of year...

Thankful!

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations". Psalm 100:4-5

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving (which was yesterday) I think it is a good idea to acknowledge all that we have to be thankful for. Okay, I won't be able to get it all, but at least I can reflect on some of the blessings over the past year!
I am thankful for...
1. My husband. Who is so thoughtful, attentive, sweet, caring, masculine (I think the sweet + manly combo is missing in a lot of men these days...), patient, forgiving, and loving. He is an amazing daddy to our daughter and I thank God everyday for him!
2. My healthy, happy daughter! I never thought I could feel this kind of love instantly, but the second I saw her my heart swelled! She is the most perfect gift I could have ever asked for! She is teaching me more about God's perfect love for us.
3. My family. After Jason and I were home alone with Harper for the first time, we said "wow, we really love our family, we couldn't have done this without them". The truth is, we could have. BUT thanks to the love and support of our family, Harper transitioned smoothly into our lives with very little trauma for her or us! Our parents have given us amazing models and I pray that we can live up to the amazingly high bar they have set!
4. Toby. Our sweet, sweet dog who has accepted Harper into our home with so much dignity. He was my first (albeit furry) baby. He is so gentle with Harper and wants to give her a bath so badly! After hearing reports about how other dogs react to such a dramatic change, I am thankful for Toby's kind and gentle spirit.
5. My job. And Jason's job for that matter. In these tough economic times we both have jobs. I am thankful I have a job that allowed me to work half time so I could be a good mom and a good therapist. I am thankful that financially I CAN work halftime, although it will be difficult. I am thankful that Harper will be only 5 minutes away from my office.
6. My friends (did I mention before that this is NOT in order?). I am so thankful for all my friends who have given me advice, support, and loved me even when I might have been forgetful or random or freaking out about something silly. You guys have helped me be a calm(er) mom and I believe this in turn helps Harper be so calm!

There are a million of other things that I am thankful for, but I have a baby that needs attention. SO thankful for that! :-)